The Fitness Program that Can Save Your Life…and Ruin Your Marriage
CrossFit works. The effectiveness of the program is undeniable. It is a return to the heart of athleticism and the original intent of the human genome. People learn to move and build capacity in a way the body was designed to move. They change their diets back to real foods. As a result, their bodies change, their attitudes change, their priorities change. CrossFit broke the mold.
The days of anonymous attendance to a club gym, where people work out alone, in a model that is seemingly ineffective are over. It has been replaced with a community that suffers together in an effort to better themselves. Shared suffering bonds. Overcoming obstacles empowers. Coach Glassman, the owner and founder of CrossFit once said: “The greatest adaptation I see in people doing CrossFit happens between the ears.” People who are cocky tend to get humbled. People who are timid gain confidence. People who are unhappy with things outside the gym, tend to change them. Perhaps it is the suffering and support that happens within the walls of the gym, that gives people the courage to change. I mean the workouts are hard, brutalizing, and intense tests that will challenge everyone. If one can survive and persevere through that, leaving a crappy job, living situation, or relationship might not seem that hard.
But what if the mental adaptation that is happening is not a positive one? Can the dynamic of the formula in a CrossFit gym be a dangerous one? You have a collection of hot young bodies with a new-found confidence, supporting each other and getting very friendly. There is a lot of sexual energy.
The community is very welcoming and inclusive to those who participate. But to those who don’t, they may feel themselves loosing friends or loved ones who can get pulled away into a very addictive and consuming hobby. All of a sudden everything can become about CrossFit…the lingo, the videos, the events, the diet, and methodology. Loosing connection and feeling someone drift away can lead to someone straying from a marriage.
While there may be many similar stories of this happening in a CrossFit Gym, most infidelities revolve around a husband or wife with a new hot body, getting some much wanted attention, love, or support or friendship from another hot body, with a combination of intense hormones circulating from going to battle in a workout. With a strong and resilient body does not always come a strong moral compass, especially with something as raw and primal as CrossFit.
Does this mean if your husband or wife does CrossFit, they will cheat on you? Absolutely not. In fact, you could probably substitute the CrossFit gym for any other environment where a spouse is in a “different world”. This could be the work place, the co-ed softball team, or the Internet. There are some unique characteristics of a CrossFit gym, that do breed close camaraderie under stress, with a lot of sexual energy though. Here are some tips to avoid loosing connection with a spouse who is into CrossFit:
- Do CrossFit with them. I don’t care if you’re bad, un-athletic, or not into fitness. It will help you, and at least you get to go on an adventure together. Time together is the most valuable commodity.
- Even if you don’t CrossFit, be a fan. Be a fan of your husband or wife, buy them some Reebok nano’s. Believe me they don’t care about your “Fran” time, but they do care about your love and support.
- Do not let a CrossFit dominate your life. Have special time outside the gym and make time for each other that has nothing to do with fitness. Find something in common and nurture it. And if it is sex….well done!