“What do you want to do with your life?” That was the question that started the change in me, causing me to actually look up and see another road. It was a simple questions but the answer, when actually acted upon, had huge implications. It has been the questions that I have been answering every day since then. The answer changes as I let the journey shape and mold me while the destination just changes locations.
At 330 pounds I was deeply unhappy, depressed, suicidal, and had no dreams/wants/goal for my life. The thought experiment of “would you trade X amount of years of your life to achieve some status” was always answered with a Yes. My body was failing me, I was in pain physically every day, and I saw no way out. Then I was asked that question earlier and it created a shift. The shift was mental and physical.
I started to change mentally:
- I smiled
- I empathized with other humans
- I went from scarcity to abundance
- I wanted to give back to others in the form of knowledge
- I actually started to like the way I looked in the mirror
- I changed my mental chatter to supportive instead of destructive
I started to change physically:
- I lost weight (100 pounds in all)
- I lost strength but gained confidence
- I learned to listen to my body as a partner and not a disobedient slave
- i changed the way I ate
- I treated it with kindness by sleeping, stretching, foam rolling, and doing cardio
The physical changes came only when the mental aspect was addressed. This mental aspect is not a one and done fix. Everyday I have to repeat mantras, smile to myself, be kind to myself, listen to motivating speakers, fill my head with abundance-ideas, and excuse myself when I fall short. Every day I have to work on staying on the road that the question made me realize was there. We are creatures of habit and I have spent 26 years on a destructive path – it is going to take a lot of focus to not slip back into the ruts of the old as I travel down the new. The details of the mantras, the motivational speakers, how I excuse myself when I fail, and the specific brain training tool I use to reshape my thoughts will all be covered in the last of this series of my background and why it has led me to write about motivation.